Okay, picture this. You just taught a conference session at your company's annual meeting or you just pitched your idea for a new business strategy to your boss's boss. Or you just gave a five minute message on grace to the team that you lead and then you finish, the session ends. The meeting ends, you complete the talk and someone comes up and says, "Thanks for that. I know you worked so hard on it. Could we sit down a moment? I have some feedback I want to give you." "Oh yeah, sure." And there it is. The dreaded feedback session you are being coached. Can I ask you, how do you feel right then, what's happening in you in that moment on the inside or in the facial region because Proverbs 15: 31-32 say, "Whoever heeds life giving correction will be at home among the wises. Those who disregard discipline despise themselves but the one who heeds correction gains understanding."

So for our time today, we want to have a good conversation about drum roll please, being coachable. How to receive feedback and coaching from your boss, your peer, from any and everyone in life. And let's be honest, getting feedback can be hard. Being coached can feel really difficult but does it have to? Does it have to have that feel hard, create that feeling in the pit of your stomach? Like, "I just tried out for American Idol in front of Simon Cowell but he told me I'm the worst singer in front of 40 million people ever." That's the worst feeling. No coaching conversations are good conversations and I would know personally because I've gotten to have so many in my lifetime. So I really want to break down the coaching conversation into two areas. And that is the heart posture, that is a position and the willingness of my heart to receive the coaching and the hands posture, the practical things we can do to be open to receive feedback and coaching from whoever.

So let's start with the heart. The heart really comes down to two things. And the first thing is this, humility. Humility is simply agreeing with what God has already said regardless of how I feel. So agreeing with what God has already said about my life. Can I ask you, do you agree with what God has already said about your identity, that you're worthy, you're valuable, you're seen? Do you agree with what God has already said about your calling in life, that you have purpose? You're a hope carrier, you're creative, you're stewarding your kingdom influence? And oh, by the way, your job is not your calling. It may be the clearest best path to live out that calling but your calling is way beyond any position or promotion. So if you're willing to agree with what God has already said and spoken over you, that is true humility.

And humility is really the first step to being coachable and here's the thing, it means that any given feedback, any given coaching is not a personal attack or a way to lose my calling because God's already called me to it. So being coached is actually, a way to draw out the fullness of that calling in whatever I'm doing. Proverbs 11 says, "When pride comes then comes disgrace but with humility comes wisdom." So hear me, the disgrace isn't in the mistake or the thing you're being coached on, the disgrace is in the pride that comes from the unwillingness to be coached on the mistake. See a willingness, that this idea that your heart is open to coaching, think about it. Nobody ever directly says, "I do not receive your feedback," but you can feel it when you're talking to them. It comes through their spirit, like spirit to spirit. They're either humble enough to receive or they're not.

Now, here's the second level to that. When I'm humble, I'll actually, become more wise. Why? Because feedback will be received. I'll implement it for next time then I'll do better than next time. And I will keep moving forward in Jesus' name. I can remember times with team members and people that I worked with in the past when it feels like there's a wall and you don't even want to start trying to have the feedback conversation because literally, you're like, "You don't want to look at me, you don't want to talk to me." It was such like a beating to say anything at all and that's the worst feeling. So in those moments, I just want to tell you that person isn't necessarily what I'd even call prideful. The person I can think of was really insecure which is actually, a form of pride because it's the opposite of humility.

Remember humility is simply agreeing with what God has already said regardless of how I feel. So my heart has to be humble and then here's the second one, my heart has to be teachable, teachability. If humility is a heart's condition then teachability is a heart's receptivity, "Good and upright is the Lord therefore he instructs sinners in his ways, he guides the humble in what is right and he teaches them his way." So humility's part A and teachability is part B of any coaching equation. Teachability is really what an inquisitive heart has. It simply says, "I'm not even close to having it all figured out so teach me, show me. I want to learn, I want to grow." One of the smartest moments in a series of really dumb moments for the disciples was when they said, "Lord teach us how to pray," and in the moment Jesus taught them what it looked like to pray.

So a teachable heart really has good theology and what I mean by that is a teachable heart really believes that the kingdom is always advancing and growing and moving and getting better that the life of Jesus and the kingdom of Jesus makes things better and better and better. So when my heart is teachable, I'm aligning with that better and better. There's always more kind of kingdom theology. There's a great story about being coached in Acts 18 and it has to do with a guy named Apollos. Apollo was a teacher in the early church and he's actually, called a learned man and was with a thorough knowledge of the scriptures. So one day Apollos is teaching and these other leaders named Priscilla and Aquila hear him speak and they immediately invite them to their home to actually, have a coaching conversation, to give him feedback.

And in verse 26, it says when Priscilla and Aquila heard him, they invited him to their home and they explained to him the way of God more adequately. Now, imagine if Apollos was to put up a wall or just straight display, like a disdain for their feedback like, "I'm not going to receive what you're saying." Do you know what would've happened? He would've lost his platform and he would've lost his anointing because he wasn't teachable. So see if you can catch this, teachability is to anointed leadership, what tithing is to gaining favor in finances. So I'll talk to people all the time that aren't moving forward financially and they always feel stuck but it's because they literally, have disobedience working against them. So then our pride or our lack of teachability does the very same thing. It does the very same thing to our leadership platform and actually, takes away the anointing that God wants to place on it.

So therefore, a teachable spirit is one of the fastest ways to grow in anointed leadership. Why is that? Well, because the teachable gain honor in all kinds of ways. Do you want to be seen as a valued voice of influence, do you want to grow in your leadership, do You want to gain honor for your platform? You've got to have a teachable heart. This is where your heart has to be humble and teachable. That's really the two things that you need on the heart side but how about this? What about the practical side and the hands? Well, practically when it comes to coaching, here's what you need in your hands. Number one, you've got to communicate with your supervisor for really clear understanding. It is amazing how little feedback you're going to get when you've prepared well and brought your supervisor in ahead of time. So when you do get feedback, ask the questions of your supervisor like, "Hey, help me understand or could I repeat back what I just heard you say?"

Side note, you should always do that. You should always repeat back what you just heard when you're having any kind of coaching or hard conversation. Because when you do that, it allows you to clarify what you're just hearing during a swirly time. You want to refer to hard conversations as something completely different. You can start calling them freedom conversations, not hard conversations, freedom conversations because I'm always becoming more free when I have them. We can begin to look at conversations that are hard or I don't want to have this as an opportunity to have even more freedom. So that's the first one you want to go ahead and work with your supervisor ahead of time. Number two, proactively seek feedback and then incorporate it immediately.

You know you're really getting this when you start to ask people for feedback before they offer to give it to you. Let me say that again. You know you're starting to understand this if you're willing to ask for feedback before or prior to them actually, offering it to you. Ask a peer, ask an audience member, ask your manager, "Can I have your specific feedback? What did you think went well? Where did you see an opportunity for me to communicate more clearly or to get my point across more effectively? Well, what would you have included?" That's a great way to ask for feedback. Now, here's a question. What if you know the skill or the area of expertise more than supposedly the person that's giving you the feedback? I mean, what right do they have to give you feedback? Well, let me answer this from the vantage point of being here on the Valley Creek staff team, if someone's on this team then they have a voice in our shared leadership that means their voice is valuable.

Besides that they have the wisdom of the spirit of the living God in them which means they probably, have some great feedback to share. I want to be open to getting that. I should proactively seek that out and then I should incorporate it immediately. Don't wait on it, don't weigh in on whether it's good or not literally, you should be able to receive coaching and then actually, do something about it. In Exodus 18 it says, "Moses listened to his father-in-law and did everything he said." Jesus said, "Don't just be hearers of the word actually, do what it says," so you're going to want to incorporate that feedback immediately once you get it. Number three, this is the way to keep working out coaching in the hands. Ask for a teammate to help you stay accountable.

Literally, look at the people you're closest with at work or on your team and just ask them and say, "Am I approachable? Do people want to give me feedback, do people want to start the conversation with me? Or do I put off almost like this, 'Don't talk to me, don't look at me, don't coach me, don't give me feedback kind of aura.' Have you heard me say things like help me get better? Or what do you think recently or have I just not been saying anything at all?"

Those are really important questions that you want to stay accountable to your peers with. A teammate or somebody that you're working with they really want the chance to help you stay accountable. You just have to open up to it in the first place. So there it is. That's the heart which is humility and teachability and the hands, all those steps I just gave you of being coachable. You see being coached isn't scary, it's not disappointing. It's a great thing, it's a kingdom thing. So come on with willing hearts, with clean open hands, let's all receive feedback. Let's be open to being coached.